THE NEW WAFN SITE!

(http://www.wafn.net/)

Ps. Sorry to all you who tried going to the new site in the past two days. We had a couple of technical hiccups. Hope you enjoy the new site! Let us know what you think!

Blizzard, I have to say that this relationship has turned sour. What was once hours of fun has turned to frustration and abuse. How could you do this to me Blizzard? I just wanted to play Starcraft, but you won’t let me. You lead me on and then shut me down with unfounded lag. This abuse has to stop, I do not have high latency and neither do my friends. I used to come back to you whenever I would leave, thinking that you’ve changed but everytime it’s the same thing.

I don’t know how else to say this Blizzard, other than I won’t be seeing you again, you’ve led me on and have abused me for too long and I’ve had enough, we’re over. I don’t want to see you again until you change into Starcraft 2.0

Goodbye Blizzard.

Cheers, Jerry-Orest

Rapidfire068

Well hello faithful readers, I have something special to tell you today…but shhhhh, its kind of a secret {shiffty eyes}. We here at WAFN have been getting a little tired of the same old same old so we are gonna be making some changes…BIG CHANGES. In fact, WE ARE CHANGING SITES! Yes thats right. We have purchased the domain for www.WAFN.net and are in the process of making it sexy. Now its not quite finished yet so don’t just jump ship or you’ll end up with a blank page, but I can say that it is starting to look pretty sweet at this point. I won’t tell you exactly when we will be done because we have taken the Starcraft II stance when it comes to release dates “It will be done when its done”. Keep checking for updates because we want to open this bitch up as soon as we can. Until then, keep on reading.

Cheers everyone!

Rapidfire068

Well well ladies and gents it seems that its Easter time yet again. For those of you who live under a rock and simultaneously don’t know of this guy named Jesus, who walked on water and was a real hit at parties cuz of his spontaneous wine making skillz. Easter is supposed to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and so on and so forth, but I’m not here to preach and I don’t really care what faith you subscribe to, I wanna talk to you all about Easter as we know it now. Gone are the days of rapidfire masses friday, saturday and sunday….sooo much church. Now is the advent of Lindt not Lent where capitalism has won over tradition. Even the dreaded Easter bunny is no longer safe. Where once we had chocolate rabbits popping out of every space available in the house, up to and including the toilet bowl…maybe thats just my house….anyways, now we have chocolate Dora the explorers to fill our filthy crevasses that are in all likely hood full of asbestos (memories….). These days, if there isn’t a price tag attached to it then its not worth celebrating I suppose. I don’t think this is entirely a bad thing…I mean the prospects for international Pwnage day {fingers crossed} are getting better everyday.

On a little side note to all our readers, we are in the works of revamping and relocating the WAFN project to www.wafn.net. The domain has been purchased and everything should be up and running soon enough. I don’t know about you, but I’m excited :).

Well thats all I have in store for today people, so until next time everyone…Cheers

There, you’re dead. Happy? I am, you’re another zombie to kill. If you see yourself in this kind of situation as pictured above, chances are that either you and your group of fellow survivors have no idea what they’re doing, or there has been a collapse in reason and order amongst yourselves resulting in rash and disastrous decision making. The only bigger threat to the survival of humanity than zombies are ourselves.

Aside from constant vigilance for signs of zombie outbreaks and preparing my surroundings to best aid me in destroying them, I oft contemplate of where to go and who to look for. It’s difficult to decide which is more important because location is essential to waiting out a zombie outbreak until hopefully military assistance becomes available. On the other hand who you choose to group yourself with will ultimately decide whether your group has the ability to wait the outbreak out. A balance is needed because you don’t want a good location with a bunch of yahoos who will get you killed anyway, or a group of reasonable people with the competance to kill zombies and be sitting on the streets downtown.

DO NOT go to your local mall unless there is a guns and ammo store, go there, get supplies, get out. Rooftops are a good place to bunker down since you will be high up from the zombies and if there are any other survivors/assistance you can contact them.

The danger of zombies are not they’re speed, strength, or intelligence, its they’re numbers and they’re ability to lull us into thinking we’re safe.

If you need be I’ll be downtown where the fun is.
Cheers,
Jerry-Orest

Hey all, I would like to take this time to enlighten you all on the concept of pwning. There are many misconceptions about said pwning. When it should happen, who it should happen to, what really constitutes pwning, what what it means for the person doing the pwning and getting pwned.

First off lets consider four very important rules of pwning, three of them are rock solid pwnologies of teh_masterer, and one of which is of my own creation with the help of one Rene Descartes. 1. If one eats like a n00b, one will be pwned like a n00b. This is pretty key folks, you go around eating like a vegetarian, or excluding things like Bawls from your diet and thats it man, just put the controller down because you have become impotent in the gaming community. So eat heartily and fill the pwn meters to the max.  2. If one wants to truely pwn, one must pwn in all games. Ok lets look closely at this one and careful no to step in the bullshit so many gamers tend to. To say one must pwn in all games is not to say that one must play at all games. For example you can still pwn at a game and refuse to play it on the basis that it gargles balls, e.i. Two Worlds. However, the basis on this is that if you can’t extend your pwn-factor to all games then you don’t really pwn, your just good at one game. And to say that you can simultaneously pwn at all games instantly at the same time more than anyone else is something to strive for, but not to expect. 3. Pwn the n00b, taunt the n00b, but never hate the n00b, because without n00bs there could be no one to pwn, as you can’t (and should never attempt) to pwn yourself. 4. I pwn, therefore, I am. This came to me one day as I thought about my philosophy class and the old formula of I think, therefore, I am. This holds pretty constant for gamers, pwning defines you both on and off line. The most dangerous part of this statement is that the day you stop pwning, is the day you cease to exist. I have seen it happen people, don’t let it happen to you, its like when you cross the streams of a ghostbuster backpack.

Pwning should happen as often as possible and to everyone except yourself and other people who pwn. Basically pwning constitutes Darwinism in that it helps to weed out the weak and weak minded. As long as there are two people anywhere, one will get pwned and the other will pwn. If pwning didn’t occur then Kirk would never have defeated Kahn, Vader would never have thrown Palpatine over the edge, and John Stuart would not have a show (as it basically consists of pwning people on television).

Pwning is made up of a simple formula: P=N/Pr x C, where P=pwning, N=n00b, Pr=pwner, C=circumstance. N=G-S, where G=gamer, S=skillz. But that is the technical aspect of pwning, in real life application this equation plays out without us being aware of it until its too late. Where a gamer has weak shit (or no skillz), he is a n00b. When a n00b is varied by an pwner, the power of the circumstance in which the pwning occurs will give the total pwnage conceived. So a n00b pwned by a lucky gamer in a game they have both never played before alone in a room is not nearly equal to a n00b getting spanked by a gamer, where both gamers have played for a while, and they have an audience watching while the n00b gets knifed.

When gets pwned, they become a n00b. However, they can be a momentary n00b, an instantaneous n00b, or a n00b (worst kind). A straight up n00b is someone who is pwned consistantl, and pretty much at everything. May God have mercy on their souls. A momentary n00b is when someone, who is not normally a n00b, is having a n00b performance, or a “bad night of gaming”. External factors may also be at work here. The more one pwns, the less this is likely to occur. Instantaneous n00b is a gamer, possibly even a pwner, who succumbs to n00bness for an instance or is “n00bified” by someone else in one swift move, but then recovers pwner status. This can happen to the best of us and no judgment should be past upon the instantaneous n00b, but instead heap praise on the one who n00bified him.

Finally, when someone pwns someone else it could be accidental or purposefully. There are many kinds of pwning, all of them good but the different kinds offer different consequences for the pwner. Accidental pwnage will grant the pwner momentary limelight and nothing more.Fairly consistant pwning, of those at the pwners skill level and sometimes above, grants the label “pwner” to the pwner. It is the job of the pwner to make the world a more awesome place by ridding us of the useless opinion of the n00b. In an argument online, a gamer may be silenced when he is pwned by the person arguing with him, verbally or otherwise.

Pwner: “What ever man the n00b tube is fucking gay, it takes no skill to use!, Use frags, way better!”

N00b: “No fucking way is a regular frag grenade better than the grenade launcher attachment! These fuckers explode on impact, you have to be pretty fucking retarded not to dodge a grenade!”

*Pwner then throws perfect frag into window of house of hiding n00btuber and blows him to kingdom come*

Excellent pwnage…

Hope this was helpfully to the uneducated, n00bs and those who want to look deeper at pwnage.

“Pull da pin, throw da uvver bit”

Hello, I think it’s time we’ve had this talk. Sit down, pull up a chair, in that order. If at any time you feel the need to jam the chair onto your door knob then please feel free to do so.

Now, I know that many of you may be thinking that I’m just talking out of my ass on this subject, and I will tell you this, I would like to learn how to speak out of my ass so that I can talk to you twice at the same time about this.

The Zombie Threat:

The zombie threat is not one to be taken lightly. Although they are slow and clumsy creatures, en mass they are a danger which is more prevalent than polar bears. And no, zombies cannot run, that is a common misconception among today’s culture. You should be so grateful that they cannot run, I know I am. The danger of zombie lies not within what they are capable of doing physically, but rather the psychological effect they afflict.

A. They were people, could be people you knew

B. There’s alot of them

Everybody knows that zombies can ONLY be killed by inflicting fatal trauma to the brain. Do not forget this. What we have to consider now is what are the most effective and practical ways of inflicting this trauma. Obviously guns, or rather the bullets in them are extremely effective in achieving our objective, however not all of us have these. What are some things you may have around the home or neighbourhood that you can use?

A baseball bat, a golf club, a garbage can, broomstick, boomstick, beer bottle, vodka bottle, whiskey bottle, colt .45 bottle, least liked family members, crowbar, hockey sticks.

These are but a few of items which can be found at the average household. Now I know it may be tempting to take a blade edged weapon but I would highly  advise not to do so unless under most dire circumstances, simple reason being that a bladed weapon will get stuck in the undead flesh and you won’t be able to recover it.

Onwards towards zombie plague fashion. The key to zombie invasion apparel is to wear clothing which will protect you from unwanted zombie bites and allow you the flexibility you need to effectively evade and attack your zombie overlords. Try wearing alot of leather, everyone’s dead anyway so no one is going to judge you.

I hope this brief introduction and tutorial to Zombie awareness has shed some light onto the scenario for you. Enjoy yourselves, have a pint of Guiness. Next time I’ll talk about where to go in the event of a zombie epidemic and the seriousness of the human condition.

Cheers, Jerry-Orest

From left to right: imthinking, StormtruperTK41, Rapidfire068 (in the back), LogicalNot

Mmmmm delicious!

Hey guys its time to get back to you. Its been awhile. I’ve finally gotten over my sickness — I think. I still have the sniffles but I gave myself 2 litres of Sunny D, 2 advil, a cup of neo-citran, 2 oranges, and a 13 hour sleep to give it the final blow last night.

Lately I’ve been playing COD4… a lot. I think it is slowly ruining my life to be honest. But at least I am almost 2nt Lieutenant. Rapidfire will tell you hes already a General and I think he’s a whore. And storm will tell you hes a Brigadier general and I think hes a whore too. But thats okay, I’m soon to be a whore as well. The one thing I really like about COD4 is the reward system. It really makes you feel good about yourself when you do well. There are constantly rank upgrades and challenges to beat and you unlock new items and challenges. It all adds up to a really enjoyable playing experience. The online play anyways.

The campaign was great, but there is one part that we all refer to as the ‘tunnel of death’ (for good reason) and there is no reward to it. If you’ve played the campaign those words will instantly bring memories back and almost set you into a state of shell shock all over again. If you haven’t… oh god you’ll know — you’ll know!

Thinking about it makes my ears ring. Ugh. Its over for now though. I still have to beat it on Veteran… shit.

Tonight the guys and I were discussing things about girls. And its funny that it has to come from me because I don’t want to give you guys the idea that I hate women but we were talking about how it was women who picked the apple, it was a woman who opened Pandora’s box (which is a vase! For the uninformed). If you ask the nerd fighters they’ll tell you about a one ‘Evil Queen Rabadoandrianampoinymerina Ranavalona’ who can be found in ‘The Nerd Fighters Evil Baby Orphanage’. Back to the topic, picking the apple made god hate us. And so he sent Pandora. A disease filled time bomb. And when she opened her box. STD’s were spread unto the world. God must have figured there was no other way to make us miserable as long as we had sex so it was time to put a damper on that.

Goddamnit!

Take care d00dz.