Rapidfire068

I once saw someone propose to their girlfriend using the forge map editor on Halo 3 and back then I thought that I had seen everything. It turns out….I was wrong.

It seems that the world’s biggest Massively Multiplayer Online Role playing Game (MMORPG), World of Warcraft has been stirring up trouble in RL (Real Life). As those of you who have played WoW already know, it can be an incredibly addicting game. So much so that it can almost literally consume people’s lives, making them devote every spare minute to battling through dungeons with their online friends. For the most part this has been seen as a relatively harmless addiction, but recently a 28 year old woman from California divorced her husband after six years of marriage over his addiction to WoW.

“He would get home from work at 6:00, start playing at 6:30, and he’d play until 3:00AM. Weekends were worse - it was morning straight through until the middle of the night,” she told Yahoo! Games in an interview. “It took away all of our time that we spent together. I ceased to exist in his life.”

Ironically enough it was the wife who got him started on Wow. She used to work for Blizzard and gave WoW to her husband as a Christmas gift in 2004…LOL. I personally take this as just another reason to never play this game, but to you orcs elves and sorcerers out there…resist the power of MMORPGs…they are the DEVIL. That’s all for today true believers. Later everyone!

Rapidfire068

Well ladies and gentlemen, I have some exciting news for all of you. As you may already know Me, LogicalNot, imthinking and possibly Storm will all be heading down to Tdot (thats Toronto for you geographical location noobs) to see the world premier of Pure Pwnage episode 16. This is an event that we have been patiently waiting to see for months now and I just can’t wait. We are gonna drive on down, get drunk and enjoy what has become the Mecca for hardcore gamers such as ourselves. The whole event will be taking place on Saturday March 1st from 4:00pm-7:00pm at The Bloor Cinema, 506 Bloor street W. in downtown Toronto and I strongly recommend coming down to see it if you are in the area. Its only $10 per ticket, it will be a great show and hey, maybe you may run into us there. We would love to talk with our viewers.

Enough about that though, onto something even more exciting. Lucas Arts is soon to premier their brand new CG TV series called Star Wars- The Clone Wars!!!!

Here’s the trailer:

Now I know that many of you may think this is just a CG copy of the Cartoon network’s mini series of Clone Wars, but from what I gather it is a completely different story that is centered around the same time frame and done in stunning CGI. Since shortly after the release of episode III I have been yearning for the sounds of light saber duels and after finding out about this and the LIVE ACTION series that is supposed to be coming out in the next year or so, I have to admit…..I creamed my pants (Don’t Judge ME!). Actually wait, do judge me…but do it through a COMMENT. I swear, the comment tab is gathering dust and its making me pretty sad so lets get vocal people!

Anyways, I’ll get back to you all in a few days from now after I’ve had a chance to sober up from the weekend. Until then, later everyone!

LogicalNot

Its colorful. Its vivid. Its fast. Its audiosurf. And its fulfilled some of my deepest dreams. After all, who doesn’t dream of speeding down a highway driving through colored things and avoiding the non-colored ones. I mean that in a totally race-friendly way. But seriously, for a long time now, I’ve enjoyed the thrills that come with speed. Never have I been able to enjoy them in such a careless environment though. Most of the time my life is on the line, but now with audio surf, its just the color’s lives that are on the line(race-friendly…trust me).

But yeah, Audiosurf… two thumbs up! Its a valuable addition to the music and patterns game genre. I think I’ll be enjoying it for many decades to come. Well maybe not decades but for a couple weeks at least.

I haven’t updated you guys in a while. Sorry! Well to be brutally honest. I just plain don’t like you guys. You don’t visit us often enough, you dont comment, you dont rate but more importantly you dont click on the Google ads in the sidebar over and over to give us extra money. What the hell is wrong with you?

Of more recent news, I’ve jumped into Halo again, sigh I swear my one friend in North Bay feels threatened that I never actually want to hang out with him so he slips me the halo rufee and I’m all in. D00d you dont need to do this to hang with me! I am just naturally a busy fucker when I’m in town. I know its sad that I can be so tied up in a game to the point where all my prior commitments just fall to the feet of Master Chief as I parade around turning aliens into goo. But man, aside from driving into colors (race-friendly) nothing beats the good old headshots.

I recently started COD4 finally! And let me tell you, if there is one game that will draw me away from Halo, that is the one. This game is un-be-freakin-lievable. I’m deeply in love with it. But I’m sad to admit its not the healthiest relationship. For example, I went through the whole first level and a good portion of the second without dying, and as soon as I did for the first time I cursed the game, and my xbox, and myself, and god, and my micro, and the spider on the wall that taunts me with his stupid grin of ridicule, and my controller.

FYI: The spider is dead now.

IRL, I’ve been pretty busy too, running around like a chicken without a head studying, prepping for midterms, writing midterms, travelling, and other nonsense that distracts me from gaming. I’ve gotten to visit my friends a bit lately which has been nice. My real friends, not the one who seduces me with halo into being his friend. Real friends like Storm, Rapid and imthinking. Infact, good news to report: Rapid and imthinking and I are all going down south to Toronto this weekend coming up to see the purepwnage screening at Bloor cinema on Saturday. Basically we got really concerned that we have to contribute to global gamer awesomeness and train some n00bs.

So that’s that for now, I wont bore you guys with all the gritty details but its been a blast the past week or so. Comment, rate, and click on the ad’s goddamnit!

Later d00dz.

Jerry-Orest

Same old car, same old problems.

Really, just when I thought that this car was finally done with, its flame distinguished, buried for good, it keeps crawling back from the grave like Sylvester Stallone’s acting career ( I still havn’t forgotten about Rambo old man!). Really, this car was nice and everything when I first got it, heck yes the 1991 Nissan Sentra was nothing short of badass machinery at its most badassness. After a year of repairs now though and its sucking more money out of me than a classy women of money for hangoutz exchanges. The car truly is the bat flyin’ out of hell. It’s the Lo Pan of old import automobiles.

Well to be honest I wish it had Lo Pan’s powers because quite frankly that we be cool like something fierce. This car and I go way back, back since before I could remember. It’s been a great three years.

I remember when I first got it, how I made a dent to the door on the first day, oh haha what good memories, it was so cute how I used to care if the car got damaged. I remember nearly dying several times, I’m still not sure if the car was the reason I am still alive, or it was trying to kill me? That’s just silly though..

Nonetheless I am back to my infinity times awesome job delivering Chinese food. It’s going to be nice to have money again and not attacking mice in my room over who gets the last piece of the carpet for supper. Really, thank Skywalker that as soon as I got my car back, just in time the gas price when up ten cents per litre. PHEW, that was a close one I’ll tell you what.

I have to go to work now,
Cheers everyone from me and the Weinerbeaster 1.2

Hey folks, I would have wrote something earlier, and I did try, but about three-quarters through writing my post, when my internet froze and I lost everything I had been writing. That was so discouraging that I just quite. So here is round two.

First off I have a few things to say considering mindlessness, its good points and its not so good points. Now by mindlessness I mean anyhting that requires no thought. I have recently been enjoying mindless action movies in slews and enjoying them very much, I don’t care what the critiques say. I have recently enjoyed such bloodfests as all four Rambo movies, Payback (a Mel Gibson bit of awesome), Predator (only the first one, we all know why), and Shoot Em’ Up. They are all just wonderful movies filled with ridiculous stunts, lots of killing and trash talking men with nice cars and hot girl friends. Now there is something to be said for Shoot Em’ Up. It stars Clive Owen, who is a great actor, and in my opinion should have been the next James Bond. Never before did I think there was a movie that could pack more action than Crank. Those of you who have seen Crank will know that this means that Shoot Em’ Up has more action packed into two hours than WWII.

Then there is the bad side of mindless, like people who work at drive through windows, George Bush Jr., and the recent movie Jumper. Yes this is a movie that you should wait to rent if you really want to see it that badly. The only note of acting comes from Samuel L. Jackson, and I know this because he actually manage to make me hate him in this movie. Hayden Christiansen…every time he yelled or screamed in pain it sounded exactly like when he was by that river of lava, and he sounded just as whiny as ever. His love interest played by Rachel Bilson was also horrible, in the entire movie i think she pulls off a grand total of three facial expressions, which is a good day for her! Honestly though it looks like her lips are paralyzed all the time, which may account for the sloppy kiss scenes.

So, here is another thing that really chaps my ass. People who buy video games first day out, complain about it, say the campaign is too short, the graphics are not what they thought, and the game play is stupid…Then they play the thing nonstop on the internet. AND the whole time they are on playing they just bitch about the game. WHY ARE YOU PLAYING IT THEN!? First off its your own damn fault for dropping 60 bucks to play the damn thing fresh on the market instead of spending 8 to rent it first to see if its worth a buy. Even worse than that is people who complain the game is too short and have yet to beat it on the hardest difficulty. In my opinion a game isn’t worth playing if its not at its most challenging level. I always set a game to its hardest setting when I first get it, most bang for your buck if you ask me, and then you can really tell your friends you beat it. For example, people always tell me the Call of Duty 4 campaign is too short, well let me say that if you play it on Veteran level from start to finish, its a good length for a shooter game. I get the feeling that people want every game to be as long as Oblivion or mass effect, which would be nice, but its not practical and you all know it. And Jesus, if you don’t like it then either stop playing it or keep it to yourself man!

In closing I would like to encourage people to leave comments on the site, subscribe to us, and leave some questiosn for us to address so we can write more to what you want to hear.

Until next time lads and lasses, ciao

HAPPY FAMILY DAY EVERYONE!!!
As you may know if you are living in Canada…I’m not sure if any other countries joined in on this (but hopefully someone, anyone will comment on this, common people no free rides)…today is family day. The government decided that there were not enough statutory holidays in February so they created Family day, a made up holiday that is meant to celebrate families (and an extra day off school and work, WOO). This is another holiday in a string of manufactured holidays. From Valentine’s day to Halloween and now Family day, we are giving holidays simply for the sake of mindless enjoyment and to sell gifts. Not to say that I don’t enjoy another day of, but this just seems like another victory for materialism. Maybe I’m just mad because I don’t want to buy anymore gifts, but I’m a university student damn it…I’m allowed to be cheap.

Either way, I hope all you true believers out there take some time out of your day to post some comments about this or any other post on this blog of ours. Whether you have an interesting comment on the subject, you want to tell us how much we have decreased the level of suck in the world or if you want to hate on us and leave a post about the largeness of our hypothetical mothers…WHATEVER, as long as I know I’m not alone here lol. Well, I hope to hear from you soon faithful readers. So until my next post, Later everyone!

-Rapidfire068

Well, as I am sure you folks will guess, my posts are few and far between compared to the other lads, so take them for the gems they are, or turds (your call). So lets talk about a few of my favorite things and hopefully everyone will get something fun to read. Lets start off with a little Warhammer. I play mostly Fantasy Battles as opposed to Warhammer 40K, currently I am working on a Tomb Kings army. But enough about me, the big news in the hobby these days are the new and improved army lists being spit out by Games Work Shop. I am sure that most of you who are involved in the hobby know that recently the High Elves got a make over of some would call epic proportions. Mind you, they need it, and it is still a well-balanced list in my opinion. I recently played a small 1000pt game against a High Elf opponent using the new rules. It was a new experience for me, but I still won, and it was a crushing victory as well.

But the High Elf face-lift pales in comparison with the Vampire Counts boob job and tummy tuck. Their new army book will be released in early March I believe, but one of the GW employees was nice enough to give yours truly a sneak peak. Let me tell you everything you liked about the Vampires is still there…plus some new bells and whistles. There is a lot to say, so I will stick to the truly mind blowing and important parts. First off, who remembers our friend the wraith? He was a terror unit that caused terror, had a great weapon and was ethereal. Pretty cool right, well now that same hero comes in entire skirmish units lead by banshees. That’s right now you to can enjoy the tears in your opponents eyes by putting a UNIT of wraiths down on the table to destroy their entire flank single handedly. Now as for the Vampire characters themselves, they have some cool new tricks hidden up their 1000-year-old sleeves. The main one being that they may now pick 100pts of magic items AND 100pts of vampiric bloodline traits AND they can mix and match from different bloodlines. The answer to your question is yes, the apocalypse is upon us. One such combo of attacks allows hatred against everyone and a rule, similar to the bone giants unstoppable assault, in which every wound allows another attack, so when you are hitting on 3s, rerolling your misses, and continuously attacking on wounds…that’s a lot of corpses. Speaking of corpses now only units of zombies may be created during game play. Skeletons may only be replenished a la tomb king magic. Three other new units include the corpse cart (chariots pulled by zombie which can wreak havoc on enemy casting), the vargul (a beast we all have nightmares about), and last but now least the new best knight in the game, the sovereign suckers, the revolution death squad…the blood knights. Yes that’s right, units of mounted vampire thralls which are frenzied and clad in the best equipment their endless stores of money can buy. Picture 3 strength 7 attacks coming at you…from each model!

Well that all I have to say about the Vampires, enjoy being slaughtered by them…Lets talk movies, I recently saw the new Rambo and let me say if you a guy, you should love this flick; it has everything but sex in it. If you’re a fan of the Rambo movies you will love this movie as it follows the same basic formula. People captured, Rambo likes them, goes to save them after “heavy” debate, gets pissed off at the enemy, slaughters them all…bbrruuttaallyy. Never before have I seen a man rip out another man’s throat with his bare hand! As for movies in the future, I very much look forwards to The Dark Knight (new Batman flick) featuring the Joker as played by heath Ledger (recently deceased). It really struck me when Ledger died, I was not sure why until I realized that he was only in his 20s making him only slightly older than me, and he was the first actor from my own generation to die. Other things to watch for include the next Indian Jones movie, as well as Iron Man, may he be better than the Fantastic Four.

On to television, all I watch is House, Lost, and Attack of the Show (AOTS). House has not been on lately because of the writer’s strike, which is now over. I missed last nights episode of Lost, BUT not to worry I will watch it today thanks to my trusty DVR, I suggest you get one to record your TV (well worth the money). I also missed last nights AOTS due to travel time, sorry kiddies that’s all for TV today.

Ok now the big one…video games. My current attention is placed on Call of Duty 4 (CoD4) and assassin’s creed. Both good games, for their single player and CoD4 has awesome multiplayer as well. I was a big Halo fan until I met CoD4. She was a harsh mistress but in the end she had the bigger rack so to speak. CoD4 offers a more realistic game play, more features, and better play style. Some features include actually opening new options for you personalized soldier when you level up. As well as offering challenges for you to complete (resulting in more XP). I don’t have the time to give Assassin’s Creed a just review so go to IGN or something. Switching over from the consol we have one of my favorites Dawn of War (DoW). Great and innovative RTS, with unique playable races and over 100 different maps to play on.

Which brings us to the future, March 4th, new DoW expansion, however you will not need the original to play. It offers a huge campaign mode, two new races and more maps. Star Craft 2, we don’t know a release date but keep your eyes on the horizon. The long awaited Spore is finally near completion, it is being produced by EA, which is solid, and has generated much hype, won’t know until you play it though. It is scheduled for September 7th 2008. And of coarse best for last, circle April 1st 2008 on your calendar because that my friends is the release for Star Wars the Force Unleashed. In this amazing game you play between the time period of episode 3 and 4, and take on the role of Darth Vader’s secret Sith apprentice. Which is cool cause it means you can trash both Imperials and Rebels alike. The game also boasts a DMM or digital molecular materials system, meaning that environmental chaos will never be the same. Wood will splinter, mental will bend, glass will shatter. Graphics will never be the same. Most importantly though the game has the Euphoric AI system, essentially meaning that the enemy will actually try to survive and no encounter will be the same twice. This game will be available for all system, which means the WII will have lightsaber combat SCORE!!

Well after talking about Vampires, Assassins, Sith, soldiers butchering each other, actors dying, and missing Lost, I have to go take a bath or read the bible or something, until next time, may the force be with you…always.

 

 Lost Mind Rape - The Economist [28:52m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Sayid OMFG Sayid!

So as you know from LogicalNot’s post, yesterday was a good day…or should I say night. After his long ordeal we were finally able to re baptize him in the ways of pwnage. After receiving an adrenaline filled message to come game that was something like this “RAPIDFIRE K!BNK??GSD@@!!!…I GOT MY 360 BACK…GAME, NOW!” it was onto the Xbox for some electronic sex via Xbox live. To start things off me, LogicalNot and Storm had a few (many) rounds of COD4…which for the love of God if you are any kind of decent gamer you should recognize as the short form for Call of Duty 4. For some reason IMTHINKING refuses to buy this game so he waited for us on Halo 3 which makes me sad, and angry.

But anyways, many a tea bag and knifing later…approximately an hour and a half I believe :S, we realized that we had been neglecting IMTHINKING, so it was time to put on our Mjolnir armour and rape, Halo 3 style. Sadly this was not to be the case. In what was supposed to be a short game on the Forge turned into hours of pointless hilarity. While on Narrows we discovered a way to turn the man cannons into never ending cycles of death :). Using grav lifts and teleporters we flung countless objects into the air, including ourselves lol. Shortly after discovering this and hearing the blood curdling scream of master chief when he is shot off a man cannon full speed into an oncoming crate our game devolved in the way which has become common these days. Once the fire grenades were spawned an instant vendetta erupted between myself and IMTHINKING, chasing each other around the map and killing each other in the most ridiculous ways we could find; from land mines to throwing vehicles at one another (thats right, we are that hardcore..lol). This continued for some time with LogicalNot building his labyrinth of death in the background until one of us made the mistake of looking at the clock. It was 2:30 in the morning…vomit, we had been gaming for at least 4 hours. Whether that is considered awesome or terrifying is up for debate, but the fact still remains that in the end I had been sitting still long enough for stalactites to form on my eyebrows, it was definitely time to sign off.

The night of hardcore gaming was finally at a close and it was time to catch some Zs (thats “Zeds”, not Zees…sorry America, no free rides). I had to be well rested for my epic journey to T dot (thats Toronto for those who don’t kno) to visit LogicalNot, and thus is where I write to you from. I’m sure many unspeakable evils will be committed this night, but that my friends is a story I will save for another day. Until then, later all…

-Rapidfire068